Fighting my demons

My Dear Master,

I’ve been thinking a lot about yesterday and my feelings about my response to being treated roughly by you Master.  I guess I’ve always seen myself as an elegant and somewhat prim and proper “lady” who would abhor such rough sex, Master.  Being slapped in the face, covered in snot and pre-cum and having my pussy and tits slapped hard, hair pulled, with tears and make-up running down my face, is not at all prim and proper Master…yet I was enjoying it a lot. And YES, i have been asking for it in this blog and i person Master. But there is also that little voice in my head saying a proper lady should be appalled and how could you enjoy any of that and how can anyone find you attractive looking like that?  So I guess what I want you to know Master is that I (your cssw) really enjoyed and reveled in the roughness and the humiliation…but I was fighting the per-established proper lady in my head the whole way.  I was confronting preconceived notions all the way.  So of course you were getting mixed signals…because the new and the old me were fighting all the way through.  I can explain it maybe through the pictures I’ve been blogging…if you look at the early ones they are all black and white and very posed and stylised, almost artistic, not a hair out of place (very lady like and very save I believe), no smudged make up and perfectly dressed or posed nude. I’ve always avoided the more “realistic” ones that get me wet (like the ones following) because I wanted to keep up the proper lady image even though I like colour in my life much more than black and white.  You are the one, Master, who introduced me to the whole spectrum of colours and I am and will be forever grateful to you.

So, in conclusion Master please bear with me…and I will eventually throw the proper lady out of my head and walk down the colourful path under a bright rainbow conjured up for me by you Master.

PS: i made a mistake in the sequencing again Master…the slut with the  running mascara was to follow this not at the end OUPS

We did a lot of that Master…but i think you were much firmer with me and grabbed my hair a lot stronger :)

We did a lot of that Master…but i think you were much firmer with me and grabbed my hair a lot stronger :)

(Source: scentofslave)

Another less than proper lady with cum on her face Master

Another less than proper lady with cum on her face Master

(via scentofslave)

loved the pussy spanking Master

loved the pussy spanking Master

(Source: wordsmatty, via diaryof-alittleswitch)

Being tied to the coffee table and having you fuck me down my throat and giving me a mind blowing orgasm was wonderful Master

Being tied to the coffee table and having you fuck me down my throat and giving me a mind blowing orgasm was wonderful Master

(Source: ftloas, via a-sigh-in-the-dark)

Again, i just loved that bondage Master, it was very horny…more anytime please

Again, i just loved that bondage Master, it was very horny…more anytime please

(Source: rougepassiondesir, via desires-andso-much-more)

That’s what i looked like i think Master..well used for my Master’s pleasure

That’s what i looked like i think Master..well used for my Master’s pleasure

(Source: 2thehilt, via desires-andso-much-more)

Just for a laugh Master

He must have a very bad slave Master…and why would a Master ever have to say please anyway?

He must have a very bad slave Master…and why would a Master ever have to say please anyway?

(Source: monsieurdufraise, via submissivetosir)

LOL